On canvas, paint, Faint inner lines, One day, help will arrive. Fox to maggots, sages alike, Not passion, lies, One day, help will arrive. Small matters, aside, Lay awake in the night, Doorways open, Like man and a knife. All that matters is survival, Today, protection of life. Black magic, paint, What makes things mine? Fate, or time? I can't say faithfully, Hopefully, one day, help will arrive.
Fist, upon brickwork, in repetition, My impression is the stigma persists, It's an effect of my symptoms... In reminiscence, problems were clear, Upon a cliff, above the tar pits, I think of a picture with scribbles on it, It's funny, small things, in the end, Even left in place, I would jump to my death. Vodka Tonic, Kalamata olive, My impression is the addiction persists, It's effectively my existence.
Blonde moribund wonders in awe, Are you not overcome with thoughts? Dark corners of the mind overrun, What is more wholesome, bit parts, Or the dishcloth wrung out? Mob, tortoiseshell guitar, Small, popular orchestra. Long, golden, charmed, Large parts of the audience hate who you are, Hate your politics and hate your forms. Meet under the golden arches, Maybe as you see the darkness, You'll see nobody around and see you're wrong. Where were your brothers while you were gone? I guess to a sorcerer, blonde, it matters not, People treated like common wristwatches, Only useful to you when you wind them up.
Chestnut, voices, Gone are the old days, Better choices, Monochrome planes. Upon canvas the mind paints, Scarlet the shade, Far from water and rain. Gone are the old days, Fire took the farm. Childhood sweethearts, I could be wrong, But fire looks good, to us all, When it's on a smaller scale, But on canvas or stage, Fire, has no proper place. Soon you'll see, things gone away, I could be wrong, fire looks good, When upon a crown and on a face. Maybe one day you'll see these things, Not the sullen, lonely greys.
though it has been so long, i have not forgotten you. i have searched for you among the crowded shelves of bookshops, the cobbled displays of libraries, the take-one-leave-one boxes scattered through town. i have dug deep in my jacket pockets for the notes and coins needed to take you home with me. i have cradled you close to me underneath my coat while i am waiting for the 6:58 bus. i have found you in tulip bulbs peeking above the soul for the sun, late august thunderstorms that pelted our new apartment, the january wind that brings ice and chapped hands. you have made sure your spine stands straighter when i roam through each aisle, saturated and dewey with books. you have pushed the dimes and nickels into my grasping fingers so that we may spend our time together that much quicker. you have squeezed me hard as we step off the bus at 7:34. you have flung yourself through the sky and earth to find me in the smallest of stolen moments. you kiss my hands and my head and flush them rosy with emotion. you have not forgotten me either, it seems.
Sitting outside the shop on a cloudy May afternoon, my hand scrawls on the back of a receipt a list of the aspects of myself: - the moles in morse code down the side of my face ($4.99) - the scars on my leg in bumpy braille ($12.76) - the skin covering my knuckles, shining where it has split so many times over ($29.97, sale price) - the soul filled with self-loathing, boiling, bubbling over the rim ($10.19) - my spine, doubled over and bent backward ($17.22, CLEARANCE) - the effort I put into eject all but the smallest parts of myself as a collection of trinkets, an amalgamation of dust bunnies ($0.99) I must have picked these up, absentmindedly, through my time in the shop. Where can I put these back? I didn't want them. Why did I pay for them, pulling out my wallet in a daze? I never knew they existed. I must have entered a girl and left a much older woman. How long was I standing underneath the humming lights? I crumple up the scratch paper and toss it in the bin as the sun waves from the overcast.
Paper, mind racing; April, outside rain; Days, time, pain. Trial, minor inheritance, Inside raging, vain, Water droplet pacing. Lies, decadence, Left in the sunset. Am I adept? Think, look back. Flies in everything, Trying anything, I, tried everything. Trial, cherry picking, Many years, Their meaning? A small committee, Press, briefings: Ideas discrete, Their leanings. Where is the time for healing?
A field, Jar tightly sealed, Stature small, teal, Familiar feelings. Tired, field mouse, Mired with doubt, Steals from the house, Who take from ploughmen, Stealing from the mouse. A car, Jetpacks to Niam, Feeling large, carmine, Looking down, similar lives, but it's my time.
what sleeps in the forest beside the highway? what lays its small head on dismembered takeout boxes and curls up beneath plastic bags emblazoned with ‘thankyouthankyouthankyou’? does it give thanks for small polyurethane luxuries? for the refuse it calls its refuge? what feeds on the grease and fumes from the roaring mechanical parade? does it lick its lips afterwards? what learns to cross the glimmering cement - first timidly, then wanton and triumphant after practice? what watches? what does it notice? what emerges from the forest beside the highway, large and lumbering, to repay the generosity of its benefactors in kind?
my god i’m so lonely so i set my small salt lamp on the edge of the window on the tiny wooden ledge i turn the dial clockwise and the light burns in my eyes sending a message to the dog across the street the only one who might be able to understand my mess of signals, signs indistinguishable from the clothes heaped on my floor nobody, nobody nobody nobody nobody, oh, nobody nobody somebody, anybody, nobody, again.
the santan dew crawls out of the stalk if you break it apart from the bush suddenly it burns brighter than dust small grand doors tiptoed to kiss their frames held by hinges, but try to reach north alas, their fates are back and forth there’s a somnolence to homes that are not yours holed with metaphors you never explored to tell your throat is for similes or possibly something else i wonder if wells hear wishes or if they are mere echoes of aired fulfillment perhaps that’s why the well water only gets to see the sky even if i bury my fingers beneath the soil, i am no root. even when i draw lines on the sand, i make no shore.
Smaller seaming, Because he was younger, and brimming, not breaming, Avoided ringing doorbells, Wrote love poems, Fell for risks too far, Bridge too tall an order, Gambles on goon squads, Heart, drawn and quartered, Imagine waking to find that normal. If life was dimming, And one finds a switch, Would you first turn it off Or just turn up and live? If I started singing, Same time swinging my arms, Nobody listens, Not even to turn me off.
holding the box between two fingers so it does not fall the hand is not pandora’s; she has been dead for centuries inside the lid, an amateur’s attempt at a cumulonimbus the sky behind them greener than the clouds before a tornado the clouds themselves whiter than the dust after what will become of the box? will it house bangles and bracelets and small forgotten memories? will the hinges rust and the sky become separated from the ground? will it ever find its way home?
Third time was the charm A tormented soul bled out Life worth loving, lost Lonely surrounded,/ A house filled with laughter, but/ Today I feel blue Under darkest shroud/ These green eyes find no sunshine/ Not today at least Force another breath This impenetrable funk And me stuck in it Static in my head/ A sound no one else can hear/ And I can’t escape It’s a feeling blue For no good goddamn reason Sucky kind of day Disconnected from all Desperation rules my head The world seems too small
I may have recently found a love of haikus...enjoy a heap of them! Such a small creature A fascination in green Life measured in hops Grading seems endless Constantly processing...sigh, Your work is due friends Bike accident, ow! Purple bruise on my kneecap Tiny tragedy Dead creature, a gift! Spare me your adoration Love in kitty form Humanity ruins Each other, our home, all things The one true constant Build each other up A constant stream of kindness Love creating joy Sleep eluding me Again I’m counting critters Heavy eyes please close This day could be good But only if you live it Stay here, keep trying Tiny puzzles these Haikus pieced together and Shared with awesome friends
I wrote the list upon my hand, because I was wont to forget. Memory was always a weakness, since birth I assume. I had since then learnt to cope. Would it rain? I wasn't sure, but I would be ready if it did. "Ready to go?" I heard a voice. I nodded, we were probably already late. It was dark outside, raining. The blacktop shimmered with the small bit of dwindling light that escaped through the clouds. The day was early but the day already felt long, characteristic of the gloomy weather. I opened the door, however, to sunlight beaming in my front door. "Great! Looks like it cleared up outside!" but all I could hear was the ocean. The noise of waves tossing themselves on the shore was overwhelming, their loudness filling the air. "Are you alright?" I snapped back into reality. I assured myself I was fine, just lost in thought as usual. I tried to make myself more comfortable by focusing on the inviting weather, although I was visibly nervous. I felt like something bad was going to happen. My foot stepped to the concrete, bending the leather of my shoes and causing them to crease. We walk beside one another in a peaceful silence toward the bus stop, eyes trained on the puddles of the sidewalk. My foot lifted for another step and as it comes back down to reach the water, I felt a wind rush past. I looked up, and I found myself all alone. Once again, I felt the rain upon my face.
Pence felt worth, more than all, Dirty and small, spending curt. Maybe to shout, Maybe to doubt, Chasing two shorelines, Given scourge or knout. Schoolyards abound, Fence built high, to the clouds. Fools abundance, mountain climb, Peace can be free, expensive as dying, Riddled with fear unknown, prying, Heavy to swing for liars. Fences can be expressive as lessons, Lesions on the back of your neck, Illegal, yet a photography session, Perhaps I soon like Kim can attest.
The coming winter should mark the death of my love, yet there is nothing to kill. For her unspoken words burn deeper than sunlight, light The Eclipse could not seal. The torrent is relentless Shakened, awake is the sea A sacrifice asked of fate For every victory Yet I've lost And so, you, I've won only for the smallest of eternities