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Gord

2021-02-22 12:47 am
For Mayor, for payment,
For wages, forced labour,
For most run four bases,
For patience, no basis.

Road changes like young brains,
Record-breakers, the role favours;
Horses race toward old age,
and the coast as it fades;

Full weight behind the sail,
Like regulation of the state,
Your neighbour, Your patron, 
Afford bravery for faith,
While some live, agate,
Judge races from inside of a cage.

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Knoble Kaller

2021-02-05 02:18 am
Babies and family and warm woolen mittens these are the things in which we are smitten. Sunlight and rain on my face all insane one patters one warms yet both matter the same. Porpoise and dolphin like gorilla and chimp similarities to cuddle yet don’t make good sense. Oh why are these thoughts so loud in my head of things that concern me and things that are said. Is my heart crying out and my logic repressing or is common sense keeping myself from undressing. Baring soul inner thought is scary at best when guessing who’s trustworthy or in whom to invest. Light of day brings rising clarity for each intense charity of ones mortal soul and the damning sobriety. So tortured inspired and desired the same within friendship and love and all things a flame. Now dry from the patter and warm by the fire to cuddle desire and wash off the mire for all the heart wants is all it requires and that my dear friend is all that must matter.

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Knoble Kaller

2021-02-05 02:00 am
They met like the first time rainbow met sun shower, wave met sandy seashore, and heart met Cupid’s arrow. They laughed like the first time green eyes gazed brown, sunup chased sundown, and chuckles met deep frown. They learned about foreign subjects on local soil, shared time in familiar toil, and explored how their lives could coil. They wondered how we two could meet and find their feet and live to eat and rinse repeat and begin again and keep the peace for family sake.

She touched my heart with smile on face depositing hope of our loves deep embrace. Unlocking a gate of emotions oppressed from that bygone time cloaked in cynicism and hate. She used her power applied her grace revealing a world where nothing waits and the weak grow strong those loved and displaced. Then together we pledged to always be true to all that matters to me and to you and to guard this ethereal space. 

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Innasense

2020-12-28 09:42 pm
Obsessions 

What power you hold over me...
Every action, every thought 
Is just a push in your direction 
Feeding into the obsessions, 
Lost connections, misdirections, 
Absolutely positively coerced into these affections 
By a brain constantly seeking tiny moments of perfection. 

Though you kind of must admire this curation of adoration, 
All the mental efforts required to keep up the constant cultivation 
Of this undisturbed fixation, 
The impropriety and distraction 
of a single-minded meditation, 
All these mind-numbing, pacing, 
clock-like rotations 
Theoretically leading this obsessive mind to pure elation, 
The uninhibited fruits 
of this persistent dedication. 
Happy sighs and exhalations...

But then...
The sobering realization 
That somehow life existed 
before this shrine’s erection
And perhaps the cracks start to show, 
Unexpected but apparent imperfections, 
Initially denied and resolutely rejected, 
The shattered shards of a crystal ball that disagrees with my projections, 
The deflation, depletion, extortion
Of my vexation, 
Maybe leading to complete and utter exoneration... 
The disintegration of my fascination. 
Maybe someday...

But for now I prefer to float in my comforting contemplations, 
Giving in to the infatuation, 
These happy delusions 
of my mind’s incarceration. 
And if the worst this should cause is 
These false exhilarations, 
Then I shall stay here for a while 
And enjoy the scintillating sensations 
Of my obsessive ruminations. 

A
Temporary
Salvation. 

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Gord

2020-11-13 07:17 am
To scratch to paper to feel,
A rat pampered can keel,
Catch as cant, caped and kneels.

To manage a brokerage well,
Manger broken, belly swells,
Change hopeful, soon quelled.

The train is gold but gone,
Pain is old game to fawns,
Again retold, they carry on.

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Petar Kostadinov

2020-11-02 10:04 am
“Writers 
———————-
Have gentle souls
Have a heart of a sunshine 
The one written word they paint
From their lives with each brush in their hands

The good times
The bad times 
The treasured of times
Their words are best told 
From its beginning to no ending

They paint each season
They create each reason 
They form each line 
As they stand even at the bus line
As they wait for their train to arrive 
As they drive their car they must stop 
At the parking stop and quickly write 
Otherwise they will lose their track of 
Song they want to sing”

(c)10/31/2020 by Petar Kostadinov 

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Innasense

2020-10-10 09:54 pm
Warning: this is looooooong and if you’re a sensitive individual the first parts may bother you. But hopefully the last part will inspire you. Speak your truths friends. The ones who matter will love you all the harder. #worldmentalhealthday

Hidden Stories 

They smiled, jokingly told her 
she looked tired, 
“Must’ve partied hard last night.”
Smile quietly returned, 
“just didn’t sleep too well I guess.”
She didn’t tell them how hard it was to get out of bed this morning, 
How sleep never came last night, 
How it felt like the darkness would just swallow her whole, 
How she felt hollow and empty 
and there weren’t any tears left, 
just an ache deep within 
that wouldn’t subside. 
And maybe if she just squeezed her eyes shut and stayed in that bed 
in the blacked out void, 
She wouldn’t have to face another day of faked smiles and “I’m ok” lies. 
“Just tired today I guess.”

“It’s warm today man!” 
“What’s with the long sleeves all the time?”
“Got some crazy tattoos under there?” 
He smiled, laughed along with them, 
Self-consciously ran his hands 
over his wrists. 
Over the bandages binding his secrets.
They didn’t know how close he got last night, how he almost let go, 
How so much blood, HIS blood 
swirled down the drain, 
mixing with his tears. 
He was sure no one would miss him, but he wondered if he would miss this world, 
And the good days out in the sun, 
Few and far between as they were.
What would they say if he were gone tomorrow?

“You should’ve come out with us last night. You would’ve had so much fun...”
She nodded and made those
“next time” promises, 
though she knew they were lies. 
She’d stay home again, 
Wrapped in the icy grips of loneliness, 
Which felt somehow better 
than her burning cheeks 
when the right words just wouldn’t come, or the wrong ones spilled out, 
and she felt their eyes on her,
Panic rising, thoughts frozen
Wishing she’d just stayed home, 
Away from the judgement, 
And all the wrong moves she always made

“Haven’t seen you around in a while! Doing ok?” 
His mouth smiled, head nodded, 
lips formed words he’d said so often, automatic. 
Because, really, he thought, 
How could I describe 
that moment last night, 
body curled up with forehead cold 
against the kitchen floor, 
Ears covered to block out the voices, 
Silent screams wracking his body as the panic overwhelmed him, 
No breath to speak, 
And who could he call anyway, 
How would he explain these moments of pure fear that slipped in unnoticed
and become everything, took everything, until he was a shivering shell of himself. 
Sometimes he wondered, 
if they could see through him, 
would they think him weak? 
Would they walk away...?


These people are all make-believe, 
but the experiences are not, 
taken from articles and discussions 
and sometimes even revelations from 
real-life friends. 
These are not my stories, 
but they are someone’s truths, 
Not their weakness, 
Not their short-lived sadness
that they can just “get over” if you try hard enough to make them happy. 
(My gosh do I need to remind myself of that part sometimes...)

But that doesn’t mean you stop trying. 
Love them y’all. 
Love them so damn much that you’ll sometimes break through the cracks in their self-inflicted armor. 
Listen to them, 
Give them the chance to be 
open and honest, 
And if what they say makes you flinch, imagine what it must feel like for them. 
Do something kind that makes them smile and get ready to do it again tomorrow.
Smile and laugh with them. Cry with them.
Be genuine with your 
thoughts and feelings. 
Give them space, but check on them. 
Pull them out of the dark for just a moment, say, 
“I’m here for you when you need me. 
And I always will be.” 

Mental health issues are often invisible, 
but still feel debilitating to the one 
inside that head. 
Stay educated. 
Be understanding. 
Love the hell out of each other. 
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤍🤎💗

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Gord

2020-10-06 02:11 pm
Make a face, disappointed,
Hopefully it stays that way,
One appreciates a boys wit.

What is pain but pain,
To call a spade a spade,
Our nature trail is grey.
They say save whales,
Scream of the rape of males,
even in the face of change.

Change my name,
Change my state,
Changing shapes on the screen again.

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Innasense

2020-10-04 11:21 pm
I miss that girl who wore the moon on a chain,
The one who found happiness 
in solitude and rain,
Who wasn’t smothered by the 
endless need-to-dos, 
But instead made simple moments her muse. 

I miss the girl with the honest, unforced smile,
The one who could always stay for awhile,
Who took endless photos 
of sunsets and trees, 
And spent time, just being, 
under canopies of leaves.

I miss the girl always seeking out the new, 
The one whose blue days 
were ephemeral and few, 
Who spent her Sundays, childlike, 
taking trips to playgrounds, 
Instead of as an adult, 
pushing expensive mops around.

I miss the girl who wore pink bandanas 
and braids, 
Whose undercurrent in life wasn’t always  “afraid”, 
Who wasted away hours in 
make-believe lands, 
And felt no guilt 
with book or controller in hand.

And I miss car rides with no destination, 
Enjoying the lilting song of a clock for pure relaxation, 
Not feeling enslaved by my own procrastinations, 
Making last minute plans, happy deviations,

I miss yesterdays that happened years ago 

And I miss the me that I used to know

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Innasense

2020-09-14 11:17 pm
”The End”

The night is young, 
Barely swollen with stars 
When the illusion shatters

As though everyone I had ever known
was gone
The world as I had come to know it, 
Ended.
Apocalyptic, 
And without near enough warning. 

Those paper souls lost,
Their memories fast fading, 
The stories they told, 
Words lost in the wind 
Some names forgotten,
Others stamped permanently 
onto my brain, 
autographs on my heart. 

I reminisced for a moment 
On the places we’d been, 
Conversations had, 
Friendships shared, 
Hardships weathered.

Bright sunny days spent outside 
Or solitary nights spent avoiding sleep, 
Blanketed by the silent words between us, 
Alone but for each other’s company.

Now I just feel alone, utterly, 
This finality staring me in the face 
Nothing left to do but face this music
Slipping away at too rapid a pace
These final notes, 
One last embrace. 

I tell myself I must accept this end, 
But allow myself one backward look 
Steel my heart,
Heave a sigh, 
And with great trepidation...



close this book. 

❤️📚💔

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Gord

2020-09-13 11:11 pm
Global player who creates the local cable,
Writing nomenclatures with known names,
Hoping workstations become playstations,
Whose drone planes zip along to no shame;

Teaching to make rain and thunder,
How your shame is the pain of others,
Whose praise and worship is nonsense.

Space traveler, declares his slave radical:
"No place for a sail with no waves,
No stone age for a failing sage,
Place the stones on his grave,
Then walk away."

Teaching to take pain asunder, 
How should I, seek, become a hermit,
With my star-ship lacking an AC?

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Innasense

2020-09-13 09:12 pm
OCDemons

An O for the things that I just can’t let go 
And maybe it’s not even the same things as last week,
But there all the same, 
Ground into my head 
As though they were the only thoughts that ever mattered
Sacred and necessary 
Though likely invisible or nonexistent
just a few days ago 
And maybe tucked 
back into the void 
In just a few more 

But I suppose it’s better than time spent 
Wondering 
What a head-on collision would be like 
Or how it might feel 
To put knife through bone 

It’s dangerous 
Inside my head sometimes 

C for the things that I just can’t not do 
Always look right when crossing a bridge 
Wear just enough purple 
Get the numbers right 
Watch the color patterns 
Check and check and check again 

I tell myself I do these things  
To clear a clouded head 
Unfortunately 
Seems to do 
The opposite instead 

D for the disorder in my head 
Brought on by 
A record on repeat all day, 
A ridiculous collection of 
unbreakable rules 
And the “honestly, 
what would REALLY happen?” 
Thoughts that make me feel insane 
The static buzz inside my brain 

So I 
Read it away. 
Write it away. 
Breathe it away. 
(Over)Think. It. Away. 
To Hell with you demons. 
Go plague someone else today. 

Oh...and see you in a little bit. 
😉😑

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Innasense

2020-09-13 09:10 pm
Static 

Filled up with all that I can’t seem to say 
Brain buzzing 
...Static...
Like the constant angry drone of so many bees

Short-circuiting and electrified 
Monological trappings trapped inside 
An open book 
With nothing to hide 
But still the words won’t come alive 
...All I hear is static...

Chest compressed 
and short of breath 
static, Static, STATIC

Word obsessed, 
Linguistically repressed, 
Time-limited and hard-pressed 
Leaving me languid and distressed 
...Static...

Thoughts hellbent on sweet release
Chasing words and losing sleep 
Those just-right lyrics are buried deep
Underneath the static 

Ripping at my throat 
Itching in my fingers 
Insides aching
Quivering, quaking 
All this FUCKING static 
....................................................
..........................
..........................
Frenzy fading 

Thoughts relocating 

Words spilled out 

Conscious creating 

A state of nirvana elevating 

And all I feel is


Silence 

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Steven Delvin

2020-08-10 12:32 pm
Rejoice O' Dear Pilgrim's
Steven Delvin Mututo Muturi

Rejoice! Rejoice!
My heart sings.
It's proud,quite a revolt,
Overwhelmed by high spirits.
Best better made choice's_
So proud of this feeling-
As not one can default_
Of all it truly seeks.
Fighting the wars,
merely won on the past_
previous Escapade's,
On the truces of truth.
Stands firm and tall,
Relatively all along.
A positive mentalist,
A determined mindset,
A humble individual_
Highly dedicated
And fully determined
Having negativism eradicated.
Despite how it all looks,
Sophistically complicated
I have all my wills,
Precious bills to be initiated.
A focused soul.
Doing the best to shake off,
All the shackles of darkness
Profuse dark need's_
No Hope mentality,
Out of our every human borne
Off the transgress,
Of life's worst enemy's,
That kill's hopes in life.
On very self individuals,
I try to wipe it all out
Erasing all its crooked details_
Engraved wildly on many
A blurred people's life.
The negatively emotional
Wrath stained life's invoice
Much a strain to many.
Just dearly,do hear my voice.
As in your personalised mails,
I will send some by the rails
Tagging along recorded clips_
Mine own recorded voice
Blended with messages of hope
The best percussionist's theme
With a perfect rhyming scheme
With a Hope streams beat sets
A perfect blend rhythm.
Rejoice!
Oo' ye' Brethren.
Son's and Daughter's,
Of the very Most High.
Let out your faint sigh's,
Relax your panting,
The gulping gasps,
And rest all your worries-
Along the wicked fears,
To the reign of the supreme
On the kingdom of the Most High,
Our Holy God.
Lay off,Yours all earthly burdens
And soar again-
As a new soul,
A new being_
Divinely borne
Blended in Holiness's.
Cast out your eyes
And settle them over,
The glittering sigh post_
With glittery letters of Gold,
That's so clear on sight.
A message of Hope,
To us all-
So loosen your grips_
And firm holds off the ropes,
That tags,drags along
The petty dark burdens
Of our own pretty pasts.
Embark on a Divine journey-
The very new noble course,
And progress with pilgrimage_
An affirmative programme,
Cruising mast vast mileages
Crossing many boundaries,
Past many a villages,
Across the horizons,
Preaching the Gospel.
Touching along lives.
New hopes,new things
Great achievements
And magnificent endeavors,
To people's you truly spell_
For a new life-
All can spell,
Walking in new Grace's
New righteous traces,
To the very far end..

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Lynn

2020-08-04 11:53 pm
it’s no longer july
not a cloud above the sky

august breeze rips through the car window to tear at my hair

the only choices i make are both feet on the gas and no hands on the wheel
this is the only way i truly feel healed

will these be my halcyon days?
anhedonia thickens brain fog into an impenetrable haze
even high beams won’t make a dent in this maize

true ambivalence comes at the cost of change
have any coins in your innermost pockets?

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Lynn

2020-07-21 01:31 am
devouring the skin inside my lip.
of course, everything in the human body is connected. of course.

staining the porcelain with blood and iron, iron and blood and water, the permutations of rust.

my voice becomes sticky, sickly sweet - the performance of wellness thickened even further by blood. 

my crazy, concentrated and caustic, drains through my nose and onto my chin and onto my shirt and onto my hands and down the drain. 

“i wish the blood inside my mouth were yours”. 

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Gord

2020-06-20 08:44 am
Sloganeering memetic, 
Lowly speaker of rhetoric, 
Teach us a world hate filled. 
He speaks of the sieve:
'It seeks to strain and divide, 
It sees two ways and aligns,
Hands in bonds, eyes blind,
Invest your money wisely,
As do Gods on Friday.'
Lies.

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Gord

2020-06-18 02:23 am
I wrote the list upon my hand, because I was wont to forget. Memory was always a weakness, since birth I assume. I had since then learnt to cope. Would it rain? I wasn't sure, but I would be ready if it did. 

"Ready to go?" I heard a voice. I nodded, we were probably already late.

It was dark outside, raining. The blacktop shimmered with the small bit of dwindling light that escaped through the clouds. The day was early but the day already felt long, characteristic of the gloomy weather. I opened the door, however, to sunlight beaming in my front door. 

"Great! Looks like it cleared up outside!" but all I could hear was the ocean. The noise of waves tossing themselves on the shore was overwhelming, their loudness filling the air.

"Are you alright?" I snapped back into reality. I assured myself I was fine, just lost in thought as usual. I tried to make myself more comfortable by focusing on the inviting weather, although I was visibly nervous. I felt like something bad was going to happen. 

My foot stepped to the concrete, bending the leather of my shoes and causing them to crease. We walk beside one another in a peaceful silence toward the bus stop, eyes trained on the puddles of the sidewalk. My foot lifted for another step and as it comes back down to reach the water, I felt a wind rush past. I looked up, and I found myself all alone.

Once again, I felt the rain upon my face.

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