You wept: I have no nerve left, Well, you keep that to yourself, Like you're harbouring dead. A friend must bear until the end, I hate you, everything you have, And you can't just fuck me, But you'll stand beside me, That's why we're just friends.
Aside, my issues, Aside, thy virtues, In stride I take you. Like, misuse of stripes, Continuous into night, Fighting never stopped, So why should I? Decide, rise anew, Derive from the group, Ideas clarify the mood, Deicide, I must do. Like, even is the knife, Even is day and night, Even if they survive, Smile, into a cry.
Easel, muse, what is fate? My eyes no longer meet it, My hands no longer make. Like a glove conceals a ring, Kind words, greater schemes. I must run like we were kids, I love drugs, love the feelings, I love the girl. Sober realism... Stare into the distance, Eventually you see the same, Tomorrow, is a little late
I'm sorry, I fell asleep, Black, eyes see, I feel... Yellow, what can ever be? Like a child, I dream... of, Yellow, saffron, cream, White outside yellow. Like an egg, given life, Tell us, what should it be? Just like rust on the beach, Yellow, contained in white? I'm sorry, I fell asleep... What of the darkness? You still sleep at night, Despite what you speak, Yellow, what is it you see? I'm sorry, I fell asleep. I cannot be there, I feel... Yolk: mustard, garlic, Like darkness inside me, White on the outside, Bizarre shades, and yellow.
Forewarnings, foreboding, more, of the same, More... For: wants, colors, change, can mean more, Foreign from yesterday, and for tomorrow. For you, though, it meant ropes, choking, No more prose, or poems about fucking, Though, for you I wrote a few of those. To cast a shadow like Gord's gamboge: Wars at home, wars at the coast, Wars over gold, wars over posts, What is war, when you fight it alone? Yellow mustard that stains your soul.
Was it like this all along? A bird wonders... Like gawkers, ponders what they saw... 'Would you describe me, inside of a bar?' 'Must again, you make things be so hard?' 'Wasp, like I bumble about the pollen, Following a humble belief seems wanton, When you believe in things so violent and wrong.' Bird, quickly describes in simple songs, Big cities, things it saw in the puddle, Colors of war, bees that talk. Freedom, it sings, is also simple, One really needs not drift apart. The big screen, another big scene, It was mostly a facade... Balk, talk is talk, feeling in the dark, But most of what a bird said, lived on, Proper relief is upon the soul after all... So they write less of evil on the walls, In the sky, on maps or village carts. Against nothing, see the days beyond... I suppose those concepts are behind us. Was it like this all along? A bird wonders... Is the city like a swallow, or like to swallow, and will he be the next one gone? Cause for alarm, make calls upon, Anything, but you lost the one. You love... Like a dog watching another sun set, More talk, another sun will rise again, Life for this bird is but more dogs. So like a coward, survives the storm, Shivering as they make their calls. Inevitably, to face the power lines alone.
Sitting outside the shop on a cloudy May afternoon, my hand scrawls on the back of a receipt a list of the aspects of myself: - the moles in morse code down the side of my face ($4.99) - the scars on my leg in bumpy braille ($12.76) - the skin covering my knuckles, shining where it has split so many times over ($29.97, sale price) - the soul filled with self-loathing, boiling, bubbling over the rim ($10.19) - my spine, doubled over and bent backward ($17.22, CLEARANCE) - the effort I put into eject all but the smallest parts of myself as a collection of trinkets, an amalgamation of dust bunnies ($0.99) I must have picked these up, absentmindedly, through my time in the shop. Where can I put these back? I didn't want them. Why did I pay for them, pulling out my wallet in a daze? I never knew they existed. I must have entered a girl and left a much older woman. How long was I standing underneath the humming lights? I crumple up the scratch paper and toss it in the bin as the sun waves from the overcast.
Birth mother, Are you done in search of justice? From hunger the feeling lingers on, I want to be created equal, in three parts: My heart, my dreams, my thoughts. To stomach decisions these fingers long: How much must one muster? The war is over, the performance over, The opponent is dead and gone. He hears the fear in his voice, Drinks beer, balks, talk circles, Inside he looks awkwardly, Leers like a child at adults. 'Blood eater, what of your cuts? Is your search for freedom done? What is your word for love? Of people, of reason, Like earth, sun, One deserves better treatment, But worries when wonders gone.' Colonel, a third of your country, wrong. Fanciful fawns, thoughts prancing, Warnings: Songs bandied to a swan. Wanting nothing, wanton, famished, Like night always says to the dawn: Our prospects have long vanished. It's more self talk, silence in response, Dancing alone, along to the bombs that drop.
Knowing few truths, too youthful, choose, No use for rules, too poor for morals. Two views, both fools, accuse, Loose tongues ruin their world. Must they struggle and fight all their lives? Into groups, they divided themselves, Absolute truths and nonsense, Both destroyed by their own kind. Is it nothing to you, all you who pass by? Is any suffering like their suffering? They copulate and make offspring, Die, their children die, their children die, While they're still alive they mate, Great minds think alike, again, And again generations later they fight
A wake-up call, A veil must fall, He always spoke in ways of god, Unfortunately he spoke that way a lot. He spoke simply, of knaves and farms, Like he spoke in the name of god. Like the oil on the water, It leaves a glistening wake behind it; Eyes are like the rays of dawn. Flames stream from a mouth; Sparks of fire shoot out the nostrils, Dragon tall, shakes the castle walls. So can you blame them, When they say fuck off? Nothing on earth is its equal, A creature without fear, And it comes for us, The reign of law.
Snyder, my love. Be fire, Be tyrants, Be spiders or vipers, Lions or Tigers. Whether climate, or giants, Highland or island. Even cliffs to climb, Forever, higher and higher. Even if frightened or tired, Jalapenos, cheese, honey, mustard, Hot sauce, ranch. What is pious and righteous, I would face fury of unarmed combat, Against gunfire, to have you again.
the first time i heard the word was in the third grade as teacher taught us, piously, of the price He paid as He felt the spike rip though tearing his palms asunder, in two He pleaded, Father, why me? why must the sacrifice i be? the first time i understood the word was in the sixth grade as i started the decline into womanhood as I lay, fetal, on the bathroom floor and the blood soaked my legs and the pain a dull roar I prayed, a desperate plea, Mother, why me? why must a woman I be?
Trackside, the engineer twists and turns Back and forth - on the chair Tapping feet Biting their lips Clenching fists The balance must be right Between performance, between life Focus, forthright In every tiny decision Every design to make Weighing off the balance of winning Versus the life one could take At light speed, the pilot twists and turns Every lap, committed in the highest of G's Back and forth - shifts and learns Working wrists Operating feet The balance must be right Between speed, between sight In every corner A decision awaits Weigh the balance of life Versus the passion to race
A horn right where the heart is, A horn is where we started, Beasts of a Godhead, snort, What else would they know? Seven heads, Seven hills, a woman sits, Fearing what we couldn't fix is still amiss, On top of the hill, one digests the hits, The house my father built is sticks. This calls for a mind with wisdom, Or A horn right where the heart is. For economics, For a little longer, For when they finally got it, The realization, it was violent. Then floods, then nothing. No foundation to stand on, I must found myself, found my call, But the houses my father built are gone.
BELIEVE IN... Believe in the efforts you put, Surprising will be your output. Believe in the prayers you make This lets your conscience awake. Believe in the smile you display Happiness shall form an array. Believe in the help you provide Your problems shall remain aside. Believe in friends you trust Your friendship shall not rust. Believe in the seeds you sow The yield shall be simply a wow. Believe in the words of a teacher His words shall mould your feature. So believe in yourself above all It's human software, all must install. © Tshering Wangchuk 🇧🇹
Babies and family and warm woolen mittens these are the things in which we are smitten. Sunlight and rain on my face all insane one patters one warms yet both matter the same. Porpoise and dolphin like gorilla and chimp similarities to cuddle yet don’t make good sense. Oh why are these thoughts so loud in my head of things that concern me and things that are said. Is my heart crying out and my logic repressing or is common sense keeping myself from undressing. Baring soul inner thought is scary at best when guessing who’s trustworthy or in whom to invest. Light of day brings rising clarity for each intense charity of ones mortal soul and the damning sobriety. So tortured inspired and desired the same within friendship and love and all things a flame. Now dry from the patter and warm by the fire to cuddle desire and wash off the mire for all the heart wants is all it requires and that my dear friend is all that must matter.
Obsessions What power you hold over me... Every action, every thought Is just a push in your direction Feeding into the obsessions, Lost connections, misdirections, Absolutely positively coerced into these affections By a brain constantly seeking tiny moments of perfection. Though you kind of must admire this curation of adoration, All the mental efforts required to keep up the constant cultivation Of this undisturbed fixation, The impropriety and distraction of a single-minded meditation, All these mind-numbing, pacing, clock-like rotations Theoretically leading this obsessive mind to pure elation, The uninhibited fruits of this persistent dedication. Happy sighs and exhalations... But then... The sobering realization That somehow life existed before this shrine’s erection And perhaps the cracks start to show, Unexpected but apparent imperfections, Initially denied and resolutely rejected, The shattered shards of a crystal ball that disagrees with my projections, The deflation, depletion, extortion Of my vexation, Maybe leading to complete and utter exoneration... The disintegration of my fascination. Maybe someday... But for now I prefer to float in my comforting contemplations, Giving in to the infatuation, These happy delusions of my mind’s incarceration. And if the worst this should cause is These false exhilarations, Then I shall stay here for a while And enjoy the scintillating sensations Of my obsessive ruminations. A Temporary Salvation.
“Writers ———————- Have gentle souls Have a heart of a sunshine The one written word they paint From their lives with each brush in their hands The good times The bad times The treasured of times Their words are best told From its beginning to no ending They paint each season They create each reason They form each line As they stand even at the bus line As they wait for their train to arrive As they drive their car they must stop At the parking stop and quickly write Otherwise they will lose their track of Song they want to sing” (c)10/31/2020 by Petar Kostadinov