Innasense
2020-12-28 09:42 pm
Obsessions What power you hold over me... Every action, every thought Is just a push in your direction Feeding into the obsessions, Lost connections, misdirections, Absolutely positively coerced into these affections By a brain constantly seeking tiny moments of perfection. Though you kind of must admire this curation of adoration, All the mental efforts required to keep up the constant cultivation Of this undisturbed fixation, The impropriety and distraction of a single-minded meditation, All these mind-numbing, pacing, clock-like rotations Theoretically leading this obsessive mind to pure elation, The uninhibited fruits of this persistent dedication. Happy sighs and exhalations... But then... The sobering realization That somehow life existed before this shrine’s erection And perhaps the cracks start to show, Unexpected but apparent imperfections, Initially denied and resolutely rejected, The shattered shards of a crystal ball that disagrees with my projections, The deflation, depletion, extortion Of my vexation, Maybe leading to complete and utter exoneration... The disintegration of my fascination. Maybe someday... But for now I prefer to float in my comforting contemplations, Giving in to the infatuation, These happy delusions of my mind’s incarceration. And if the worst this should cause is These false exhilarations, Then I shall stay here for a while And enjoy the scintillating sensations Of my obsessive ruminations. A Temporary Salvation.
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Innasense
2020-10-10 09:54 pm
Warning: this is looooooong and if you’re a sensitive individual the first parts may bother you. But hopefully the last part will inspire you. Speak your truths friends. The ones who matter will love you all the harder. #worldmentalhealthday Hidden Stories They smiled, jokingly told her she looked tired, “Must’ve partied hard last night.” Smile quietly returned, “just didn’t sleep too well I guess.” She didn’t tell them how hard it was to get out of bed this morning, How sleep never came last night, How it felt like the darkness would just swallow her whole, How she felt hollow and empty and there weren’t any tears left, just an ache deep within that wouldn’t subside. And maybe if she just squeezed her eyes shut and stayed in that bed in the blacked out void, She wouldn’t have to face another day of faked smiles and “I’m ok” lies. “Just tired today I guess.” “It’s warm today man!” “What’s with the long sleeves all the time?” “Got some crazy tattoos under there?” He smiled, laughed along with them, Self-consciously ran his hands over his wrists. Over the bandages binding his secrets. They didn’t know how close he got last night, how he almost let go, How so much blood, HIS blood swirled down the drain, mixing with his tears. He was sure no one would miss him, but he wondered if he would miss this world, And the good days out in the sun, Few and far between as they were. What would they say if he were gone tomorrow? “You should’ve come out with us last night. You would’ve had so much fun...” She nodded and made those “next time” promises, though she knew they were lies. She’d stay home again, Wrapped in the icy grips of loneliness, Which felt somehow better than her burning cheeks when the right words just wouldn’t come, or the wrong ones spilled out, and she felt their eyes on her, Panic rising, thoughts frozen Wishing she’d just stayed home, Away from the judgement, And all the wrong moves she always made “Haven’t seen you around in a while! Doing ok?” His mouth smiled, head nodded, lips formed words he’d said so often, automatic. Because, really, he thought, How could I describe that moment last night, body curled up with forehead cold against the kitchen floor, Ears covered to block out the voices, Silent screams wracking his body as the panic overwhelmed him, No breath to speak, And who could he call anyway, How would he explain these moments of pure fear that slipped in unnoticed and become everything, took everything, until he was a shivering shell of himself. Sometimes he wondered, if they could see through him, would they think him weak? Would they walk away...? These people are all make-believe, but the experiences are not, taken from articles and discussions and sometimes even revelations from real-life friends. These are not my stories, but they are someone’s truths, Not their weakness, Not their short-lived sadness that they can just “get over” if you try hard enough to make them happy. (My gosh do I need to remind myself of that part sometimes...) But that doesn’t mean you stop trying. Love them y’all. Love them so damn much that you’ll sometimes break through the cracks in their self-inflicted armor. Listen to them, Give them the chance to be open and honest, And if what they say makes you flinch, imagine what it must feel like for them. Do something kind that makes them smile and get ready to do it again tomorrow. Smile and laugh with them. Cry with them. Be genuine with your thoughts and feelings. Give them space, but check on them. Pull them out of the dark for just a moment, say, “I’m here for you when you need me. And I always will be.” Mental health issues are often invisible, but still feel debilitating to the one inside that head. Stay educated. Be understanding. Love the hell out of each other. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤍🤎💗
Innasense
2020-09-25 08:01 am
Throw back the covers on the incessant redundancy of another day. Putting in time for a world we no longer believe in, if ever we truly did. ...Them rose-tinted glasses were long-ago shattered... Our dedication repaid With more stolen hours Coming home with less time To spend with ourselves, Or perhaps those we purposely surround ourselves with, Than we’ll spend talking to ceiling tiles in the dark later on. Droning away the limited hours, The constant pull of a thumb , —Refreshing— Giving our ❤️s away In an opinionated match game Finger-fucking ourselves to sleep Just to say we felt alive Before succumbing to darkness With a see-you-later sayonara Whispered into black, Just like the onyx air pixels we’ll be counting later to lure heavy eyelids back into a much-too-finite slumber ...Or maybe the fluffy white bastards will do the trick Whatever helps you sleep at night... Next day, the inbox the same, Full of spam mail we unsubscribed to ages ago That somehow keeps rearing ugly heads, hydra-like with a pretty new name every time, to keep us believing in the possibility that this particular lovesick prince will be our salvation. DELETE to clear our foggy heads While trying to remember which ones are the liars. The mirage keeps on shifting. Repeat, repeat, World keeps on turning, pulling us along, A child’s toy on a string. But what if, for a moment, We turn away from from the unending axial spins, Sidestep the scythe again, seek out the sunrise... Find the beauty brave souls! Crack open that Earth-shaped geode and search out the wild world within And you know what... Go buy you a new pair of those pretty pink shades
Innasense
2020-09-13 09:17 pm
“Wake Up” Ahh, the unexpected depression of waking up to greet another day This menial mundane monstrosity Shaded in varieties of gray Sloughing through begrudged routines, Caged in by an endless checklist Punctuated only by commas. Collecting “cherished moments” On your camera roll To say the day was a happy one. Hiding behind the infernal screen, A spyglass to a world you don’t even want But hold onto anyway with white-knuckled grip, Afraid that reality won’t measure up To this life stickered with fantasy labels And you wonder when the dreaming stopped, Probably that moment you realized you still hadn’t woken up a superhero, Or that unicorns don’t exist outside of fairy tales When tomorrows bled into yesterdays And you looked back in wide wonder Questioning how you collected so many rings in your trunk And pondering where all the whimsy went Chasing shadows of what was And what could have been, Gazing into the abyss of what-ifs Unnecessary self-induced miseries. A waste of numbered moments. Time that could be spent counting freckles that bridge across tiny noses, And listening to the relentless chatter Of a little heart that has not yet been broken, And who still believes in the maybes. I see you little souls. For you, I awaken.
Innasense
2020-09-13 09:15 pm
Poetry Satirized What is this thing they call poetry? It’s mostly “pretty words” you see Ok, maybe there’s a bit more to it... I’ll see if I can walk ya through it. We rap similes and metaphors, Figurative language whores Plays on words And turns of phrase Emotional squalor And issues for days Lovers lost And sadness deep Words that when trapped Keep us from sleep “Racing to the finish” Or dragging our feet And not to compete or attempt to defeat But simply To complicatedly complete Alleviate or desecrate All depends upon the date Or what kind of day we had Pissed off, celebratory, sad Or in poetic terminology, Raging, blessed, melancholy We personify and mystify “Let them see it through our eyes” We rhyme and reason Or sometimes we don’t It’s not that we can’t It’s more likely we won’t Abstract or concrete Or both all at once Painting deeeeeep pictures... But sometimes only of confusion Poetic delusions 😉 Words made in illusions Or maybe allusions? No wonder we can’t always reach a conclusion... So “pretty words” though they may often be, There is a bit more to this thing... Poetry.
Innasense
2020-09-13 09:12 pm
OCDemons An O for the things that I just can’t let go And maybe it’s not even the same things as last week, But there all the same, Ground into my head As though they were the only thoughts that ever mattered Sacred and necessary Though likely invisible or nonexistent just a few days ago And maybe tucked back into the void In just a few more But I suppose it’s better than time spent Wondering What a head-on collision would be like Or how it might feel To put knife through bone It’s dangerous Inside my head sometimes C for the things that I just can’t not do Always look right when crossing a bridge Wear just enough purple Get the numbers right Watch the color patterns Check and check and check again I tell myself I do these things To clear a clouded head Unfortunately Seems to do The opposite instead D for the disorder in my head Brought on by A record on repeat all day, A ridiculous collection of unbreakable rules And the “honestly, what would REALLY happen?” Thoughts that make me feel insane The static buzz inside my brain So I Read it away. Write it away. Breathe it away. (Over)Think. It. Away. To Hell with you demons. Go plague someone else today. Oh...and see you in a little bit. 😉😑
crybaby
2020-08-14 09:18 am
im so high and not because of drugs but because of love it’s alright i said what ive said and i meant what ive meant it’s so nice i just wanna be yours wanna be close wanna mean more to you i just wanna see you wanna kiss you wanna hear more from you and baby maybe it’d a big mistake to tell you i cant live without you, but only the dead dont make mistakes and im so alive when i think ‘bout you. i hope you’ll find peace in me cause i found peace in you and i know that im kinda freaky, it’s cuz im crazy in love with you. for freedom id give my life for love id give my freedom for you id give my love my life now has a reason im trying so hard not think about you, not fall in love with you. but what if it’s too late? and if it’s too late, baby what should i do? what should i do when everything’s against this love? what should i do when i dont know what you want? what should i do when i have so many questions but dont know the answers? what should i do when, what should i do when, baby what should i do?
Gord
2020-07-09 03:52 am
Tomorrow trailing, no erasers, Maybe no stress can reach relief, Papers, their lies and keys, Power is in just eyes to see; One hand hold, one hand to reach, Narrow is escape, is this fate, Or feeling? Do arrows fly away, misguided, Awry in their aerial affairs, Fore bearer blameless in errand; For barrels makeshift of nothing, What is the price of a country?
Gord
2019-09-20 07:22 am
Pence felt worth, more than all, Dirty and small, spending curt. Maybe to shout, Maybe to doubt, Chasing two shorelines, Given scourge or knout. Schoolyards abound, Fence built high, to the clouds. Fools abundance, mountain climb, Peace can be free, expensive as dying, Riddled with fear unknown, prying, Heavy to swing for liars. Fences can be expressive as lessons, Lesions on the back of your neck, Illegal, yet a photography session, Perhaps I soon like Kim can attest.
missa
2019-05-04 09:36 pm
-Do you see this empathy i have? The sincerity i have? The forgiveness i have chosen to give? For not just my mistakes but yours, i'm willing to forgive. Sorry, that was a lie! I can't forgive. Not for 'how not bothered you are of how little you have seen. But maybe the fact you have never wanted to even get to know me. Never really knowed me. I suppose i can never understand/get over just how quickly you disowned me. Maby you could at least help me see your point of view, whatever it may be- It will help me to at least get a glimpse of me-e
Gord
2018-10-16 06:37 pm
Imagine your achievements dreamed, To swim upstream, one's valor full, Salmon like calendar, won tomorrow. River colander rusted and massive, Is this my love, and forever after, To be strained by dirty captives? I magic your feelings careening, To sink a damn, one's cup too full. Salt mounds like ashen piles, Too often borrowed by a saline cult. Maybe my faults found by asking, To speak upfront, one never knows, Maybe fault-lines, foundations cracking. To be a tan, army man, evil being, May be taught lies fundamentally ethic, Baby breaking, tied to shouting rhetoric.
Gord
2017-08-10 12:17 pm
Me? I once found love, It made no difference, They all forget to sub, And I made no income. A marriage valueless, The class clown flubs; Bell rings and we run, Fighters embracing, They man up, Fast t'was. Master of the gun facing Castles of his virtue, Backs still to the sun; Sacks filled with their cum, Save slaves of ignorance, To every man is worthless. Except when smoke burlesque, And living on canned shrubs. Maybe it should be, unless, You buy conqueror's seed, Then smoke it bluntly, with cannabis, sunglasses on;
Gord
2017-07-13 01:16 pm
Past tomorrow I see no lecterns. The horse speaks, lack luster, Words worthless, and everyone taking pictures; Girls wet as many pitchers, Barn doors close windowless; Blissful peace again, Silencing planes overhead, Standing tall as clouds, Power small as a child, Foreign tongue, power bottom, University educated, Now you've got 'em. Maybe whispered tomorrow, Today lives in industry, Claws large as the gut, Staged imagery for one; Paper mimicry of a doll, Feigned apathy of a sun;
Avreen
2017-07-07 06:24 am
I sat under the tree glancing nearby, hoping to find someone who could see me cry. Dreaming about a happier place, I stood up and walked speeding up my pace. I saw a girl sitting on the green bench looking as if trying to hide, Just like me maybe no one was there by her side; and with loneliness surrounding and head down she suddenly looked up gazing around. Seeing her face, I turned back in trauma and saw something which I could never forget "Why do you look back? This agony and pain ruined my life Its about that rain of acid which turned my cheerful life into a life so vapid". With tears all gone, I held her head high "there is no need for you to cry." You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen and I am not lying because I totally mean. All punishments for the guilty are too small, it is now time for him to fall. I then realized that in this world of misery and sadness, there is a lot to see Even the acid victims have the right to live just as a common girl like me.
Gord
2017-02-17 12:00 am
Cubs pride design to hunt, In parable, from a bird's eye, They sit upon rooftops, Chilling out in caste. Smoking weed and desiring, Maybe the future holds tomorrow, Tomorrow bring the last. Huns perspiring at American funds, Infinite systems of foreign gods. The Americans scoff, Savage preparing for battles cost, Yet they lost. Gold and all. Wasted bombs landed on land, Nobody was ever on. Intelligence of bitten tongues;
The Sophist
2016-08-22 12:00 am
Heart Aches Mine too No matter what we say or do Outtakes Passing by me Passing through Outpost of the things I knew I'll post about it Just to view Last daze Or maybe two I'm sure that I will think of you Darker days There shines imbued With brighter light of deeper hue I sing Though out of tune Of hope this light will shine on you Show us where we lost it all Show me if your love is true
James Williamson
2016-06-09 12:00 am
Crystal eyes. By:James Williamson Pierce through me with your crystal eyes. Look deep down to my shame and to all things hidden. Allow me only my breath, Inhale and exhale. We will test our limits, as perspiration on my face begins to glisten. You are my lonesome shadow, the dagger between my breast plate causing unforseen pain, yet If pulled out results in my demise. So look deep my dear past my darkness, fears and hatred.See my heart, cradle it so maybe it will become like you, vulnerable and crystallize.
Justan Mitchell
2016-05-05 12:00 am
Is There One? One shall arise from the midst of these, yes these, these little ones who have watched their parents hung, strung as ornaments on trees, yes these even, in 2016. Then their are those without future hopes due to broken homes, these that have been led my mainstreams, instead of being led to mend broken bones, these that say "keep you voice in tone". But I say fear no the word alone. For when through the spiritual you roam, the heart, mind, body and soul will fill gaping holes, allowing pens to flow freely into places that pencils can't go. But then there are these who pose, posing in a still stance engulfed with frowns of hatred because they just don't understand and so their actions scream, "HEAL THIS BROKEN LAND!!!" And this has become their native tongue, crying out for the guidance of the ONE! Please is there one? Look into the eyes of those that have died before the age of five, those that wear hearts of black and blue art, with mental repetitious records rapidly playing the age old song why,why,why? Why do we experience sacrifice before we experience life? Like Christ? Why such a cost for these before they learn t be at ease? Maybe, maybe the world is impregnated by crazy and is on the verge of raising yet another baby? Maybe, maybe the man in the mirror reflects hatred because he hates himself? Maybe, maybe he can't accept kindness because he's been denied the knowledge of his own true weath, the knowledge his own true self. And then there are these who are lost without cares dragging along the heaviest wear and tear, with the deadliest raging flare, but tarry not along the road of destruction, because destruction is in the eye of the beholder, but the beholder beholding many self inflicted wounds and self inflicted wounds can easily spell doom! And then there are these who are serving high stations that need fine replacements! These that have been exposed by their blood drenched tongue, that on self unknowingly and knowingly told. Yes we know these. But sometimes and even one times these can be we. And now I see many spirits lost in the overwhelming shadows of IT'S beaming light, spirits claiming underdeveloped knowing as the source of their plight, and so it hurts me to SEE, Yet even still one shall arise from the midst of these yes these, these little ones who have watched the parents hung strung as ornaments on trees, One such as me. Is there one? Dangerous Soul Life Justan "Potential" Mitchell
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