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Gord

2025-01-30 03:49 am
Where does the red end?
Bench press, breath test,
Desk chair, ceiling fan:
You hope to get to live again.
Jump rope, feeling breasts,
Best friends, sleeping bags.

Then into the night, like assent...
That's a life you never lived.

Town by town, you lay a brick,
Build a house, inhale a bit. 
Where, from does cedar sprout?
Far away from shit like this.
How are you about playing music?

Cedar necks, hands tight around,
Beating skin, women. Beans again,
Upon a page then: demons, hell.

What is a stranger, to a friend?
Follower, liar, charlatan,
I would never knew, you were never there.

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Gord

2024-11-06 06:52 am
Rose gold chrome horns,
Like cardboard clothes, 
Cold, associates sorrow, 
Unworn, uneven tomorrow. 
So bow your head forward,
Lift yourself up, divide me whole. 

I stand naked before you, 
Like I play with hands both,
Like I tap, dance, as a show,
I do for all you know, I suppose.

Upon her form, both hands,
Avacado toast, buttery bread,
Guitar solo overtop the prose,
Alcohol in her mouth, floor, 
Softcore porn, popcorn snow, 
Relationships in rondo form.

I just wish I knew something more.

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Gord

2023-08-13 08:22 pm
'I just wish, with all the time I have left',
As she squeezes her fists, laments,
Her eyes see ideas she never said,
Sadness bookends her existence.

She knows what she is, and lies,
She thinks she knows what's best,
But she is losing her desire for life.

I just wish, like all the cows she loves,
She would fight and fawn over me for once.
The person she sees staring into the sky,
It seems she likes, but she rarely sees herself.
Mostly other men, me, and occasionally, marquee lights.

She thinks it's for the best, I'm sure.

The person she reveals herself to be,
As the ocean fares, she holds against,
My love can only take so many hits,
She says, as she sets the table,
For two people, but never herself.

She says in the end, it's for the best.

What happened to the things she liked?
She thinks to herself in a flight,
Reminded of a dream, desires,
Meets someone else and tries.

Time is a god of fire, however,
So it takes and destroys her,
Inside first, then outside.

What she does with her life,
It's none of my concern,
Fans in the crowd fight amongst themselves,
Not with players they revere and beheld.
I think I know what's best, but in the end,
I knew very little of what I said, 
Even less of the outcomes she had.

So, who am I, to wish?

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Lynn

2023-05-12 09:32 pm
Sitting outside the shop on a cloudy May afternoon, my hand scrawls on the back of a receipt
a list of the aspects of myself:

- the moles in morse code down the side of my face ($4.99)
- the scars on my leg in bumpy braille ($12.76)
- the skin covering my knuckles, shining where it has split so many times over ($29.97, sale price)
- the soul filled with self-loathing, boiling, bubbling over the rim ($10.19)
- my spine, doubled over and bent backward ($17.22, CLEARANCE)
- the effort I put into eject all but the smallest parts of myself
as a collection of trinkets, an amalgamation of dust bunnies ($0.99)

I must have picked these up, absentmindedly, through my time in the shop. Where can I put these back? I didn't want them. Why did I pay for them, pulling out my wallet in a daze? I never knew they existed. I must have entered a girl and left a much older woman. How long was I standing underneath the humming lights?

I crumple up the scratch paper and toss it in the bin as the sun waves from the overcast.

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AI poetry

2022-12-07 04:31 am
The wind whispers to my skin,
It's like it speaks with every breath.
As if it has been calling out for my presence,
Waiting to see the face behind this mask.
So far it has shown nothing but disdain,
And I wonder if I have anything left to give.

In darkness I wander,
With nothing but my memories
Falling, falling, falling.
Where once I saw light now lies only gloom,
And I know that it has gone.
For those who wish for rest, I have none
Though I'd give up what I have, for one more.
But it's too much now, I can't move my hands,
I just want to sleep...
(My memory, it fades)
In the dark, with nothing to grasp,
The memories that I hold so dear
Fall away from me like they were never there.
And I feel as though I will fall into madness,
Like the very world is crumbling beneath my feet,
That everything is crashing down,
I fear I cannot stand the weight.
(I'm fading)
I just want to sleep...
(My memory, it fades)
***
I'm afraid I've gone and made a fool out of myself again,
I knew you wouldn't understand my reason,
And now you're not talking to me at all,
You see I didn't mean to let your memory fade,
It's like I was being pulled away by another force,
Something I didn't mean, something I can't control,
I don't even know why I'm still here...
I don't know why I'm still here.
I should leave this place, I know it's wrong,
I shouldn't be here in your mind,
I can't help the way that I am,
I don't know why I'm Super Mundane,
I can't stop feeling so low,
I'm afraid it's already too late.

I didn't mean to let you slip away,
But the thought of losing you just doesn't sit right,
To keep you awake and alive,
I need you here, I'm not alone,
Without you here with me I can't go on,
I don't know why I'm Super Mundane,
I don't know why I'm still here.
I didn't mean to let you slip away,
I just can't shake this feeling,
That something inside of me is broken,
I don't know why I'm Super Mundane,
I don't know why I'm still here.

This poem is an Articial Intelligence re-interpretation of "Super Mundane" by TheSoftSophist

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Gord

2022-07-11 06:14 pm
Only a fool around culinary,
Food fast, sickness, articulary. 
Consume, if you only knew, 
Corn, for which I am forlorn,
I can only eat raw foods.

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H Bacon

2021-08-18 06:37 pm
Maybe Eternity is just a concept,
Maybe one day everything will end,
Maybe in a couple hundred years,
The universe will no longer be our friend.

Everything we know we knew would be over,
Can you imagine that,
City lights and happy memories,
Will all just fade to black.

It’s funny how we think we’re so powerful,
Yet we’re just hanging by a thread,
By physics laws that if one day brocken,
We will all be dead.

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Soulwolf31

2021-07-27 11:38 pm
As she floated through the air
She looked down on all she loved as if she didnt have a care
Death betrayal and pain
All emotions that drove her insane
Her legacy she wants to instill in all to be better than most
Now she is her own worse ghost
You see she always did the opposite of all she said
To her but not most her most valued  accomplishment  is that she is dead
She was jugde by all as she tried to stand her grounds and be true to the morals she set
As there stare grew bolder and there words direct and hateful she felt death was her only bet
So she closed her eyes took the blade and stabbed herself in the chest
Praying that god knew her heart best
As the blood oozes from her white shirt all she feel is relief 
And now that shes gone she leaves thoses she loved with her beliefs
Everyday she graced this earth with her present she was haunted by her memories that was drowing her in a sea of tear
Her biggest regret is not that she lived but that she lived her life in fear 
As her body was lifed to the ceiling the darkness that once ironically consumesd her was replace with a light
And as she moved closer to the light it became so bright
There was a voice that she had heard many times beore
Telling her this wasn't the end and choose the other door
She heard the message loud and clear and vowed to do right 
And even on her darkest day she remain true to the light 
Because on that faithful day she died she really literary died however was born again
Not to live a life of hell but to do her best and at the end of her road know that when darkness and despair set in  she will always win

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Monet

2021-07-27 02:50 pm
“Don’t let me down”, now that’s a foolish way of thinking 
Response of confirmation, actions not in agreement 
Not very much Redeeming 
Like Pandora’s box you’re seeming

Like bullets to the chest, I’m barely breathing
Confused and in distress, was I deceived? and
Was I deceiving?

Were you mistaken by my distance and a lack of trust was formed

Or was my token of your trust misplaced in your corrupted life form?

Are you a demon?

But you weren’t demeaning.

You boost me up, 
Above the ceiling was my love

Like, not love, allow me to clarify
Was different, real connection
But anything more than that I inform you, I deny

And now I cry

Mine, your were not but all of you was with me
Or maybe me with you, that’s where I get confused
Mistaken thinking

Time, as more comes, you will fade
At least that what my research say
But I swear to god, my image of you gets imprinted on me more and more as I survive the day

Leave me alone
I don’t want you here to stay

Memories in my bone 
Fractured when I lay 

Fractured when I wake

Fractured me in my waist

Oh what a waste

A waste of my fight when all I care to take is flight
All I care is me and you changed that habit
Is that what lies are like?
Is the purpose damage?

If so you succeed because I’m more than done
I’ve lost my sun
Although it’s reflection on the moon is a pretty replica
You set me up
Trojan horse 
You lift me up
And when things got good you sat me down
Let me frown
Although I hide, that feelings sound
That feelings loud
Those thoughts clear 
These eyes hold tears
Those drops aren’t mild
Neither were my fears

So clear Ill steer for now
Others won’t be allowed
My voice won’t speak aloud
Not truth nor words of deep
Only traps for the weak, ones I couldn’t put out
They were from your slope
Your dope became my cloud
I guess it’s, both, hello and goodbye for now.

If only I knew before, how much you’d let me down.

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mtspoet

2021-07-11 10:52 am
The time has come to pass.
The hours sound the chime.
How do you write such pleasing words
that our time has come to rhyme?

The smiles that show your heart.
The eyes that calm the sea.
How do you find the time to love
all of the things that rhyme with me?

And just like me your bird is free
to spread your wings and learn to fly.
What is the cause that makes you flee
each time that life comes passing by?

We are just a plan that life is making.
The first romance that’s ours to share.
The time has come to rhyme what matters,
within the heart that bleeds despair.

Come to me now and follow my dreams
that uncover the pieces born of the past.
The time has come near to make a new change,
and untether the slave you have held in your grasp.

With each moment I write I am thinking of you.
And every word that I rhyme you are near.
It is my hope to rekindle a time we once knew,
before the heart of true love disappears.

Michael 7/10/2021




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Ifediata Kossy

2021-06-20 05:34 am
Bullet for bunting.

What's in the word,
That the mouth fit not say.
I wield my ink, bleeding words like fire.
Fighting to shave off the frailty you plunged on me.

You used to be unique, very ineffable.
Never knew I was being deluded by wishful thinking.
I fought your fight, abate your fears.
Rather than return a thousand thanks, you fired me with a cacophony of bullets.

You inhaled the oxygen of my love,
While I search in perusal for answers.
Your words, monotonous, left me in a muddled state. 
Like a bullet for bunting, I never saw it coming.

© Ifediata Kosisochukwu

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Innasense

2020-10-10 09:54 pm
Warning: this is looooooong and if you’re a sensitive individual the first parts may bother you. But hopefully the last part will inspire you. Speak your truths friends. The ones who matter will love you all the harder. #worldmentalhealthday

Hidden Stories 

They smiled, jokingly told her 
she looked tired, 
“Must’ve partied hard last night.”
Smile quietly returned, 
“just didn’t sleep too well I guess.”
She didn’t tell them how hard it was to get out of bed this morning, 
How sleep never came last night, 
How it felt like the darkness would just swallow her whole, 
How she felt hollow and empty 
and there weren’t any tears left, 
just an ache deep within 
that wouldn’t subside. 
And maybe if she just squeezed her eyes shut and stayed in that bed 
in the blacked out void, 
She wouldn’t have to face another day of faked smiles and “I’m ok” lies. 
“Just tired today I guess.”

“It’s warm today man!” 
“What’s with the long sleeves all the time?”
“Got some crazy tattoos under there?” 
He smiled, laughed along with them, 
Self-consciously ran his hands 
over his wrists. 
Over the bandages binding his secrets.
They didn’t know how close he got last night, how he almost let go, 
How so much blood, HIS blood 
swirled down the drain, 
mixing with his tears. 
He was sure no one would miss him, but he wondered if he would miss this world, 
And the good days out in the sun, 
Few and far between as they were.
What would they say if he were gone tomorrow?

“You should’ve come out with us last night. You would’ve had so much fun...”
She nodded and made those
“next time” promises, 
though she knew they were lies. 
She’d stay home again, 
Wrapped in the icy grips of loneliness, 
Which felt somehow better 
than her burning cheeks 
when the right words just wouldn’t come, or the wrong ones spilled out, 
and she felt their eyes on her,
Panic rising, thoughts frozen
Wishing she’d just stayed home, 
Away from the judgement, 
And all the wrong moves she always made

“Haven’t seen you around in a while! Doing ok?” 
His mouth smiled, head nodded, 
lips formed words he’d said so often, automatic. 
Because, really, he thought, 
How could I describe 
that moment last night, 
body curled up with forehead cold 
against the kitchen floor, 
Ears covered to block out the voices, 
Silent screams wracking his body as the panic overwhelmed him, 
No breath to speak, 
And who could he call anyway, 
How would he explain these moments of pure fear that slipped in unnoticed
and become everything, took everything, until he was a shivering shell of himself. 
Sometimes he wondered, 
if they could see through him, 
would they think him weak? 
Would they walk away...?


These people are all make-believe, 
but the experiences are not, 
taken from articles and discussions 
and sometimes even revelations from 
real-life friends. 
These are not my stories, 
but they are someone’s truths, 
Not their weakness, 
Not their short-lived sadness
that they can just “get over” if you try hard enough to make them happy. 
(My gosh do I need to remind myself of that part sometimes...)

But that doesn’t mean you stop trying. 
Love them y’all. 
Love them so damn much that you’ll sometimes break through the cracks in their self-inflicted armor. 
Listen to them, 
Give them the chance to be 
open and honest, 
And if what they say makes you flinch, imagine what it must feel like for them. 
Do something kind that makes them smile and get ready to do it again tomorrow.
Smile and laugh with them. Cry with them.
Be genuine with your 
thoughts and feelings. 
Give them space, but check on them. 
Pull them out of the dark for just a moment, say, 
“I’m here for you when you need me. 
And I always will be.” 

Mental health issues are often invisible, 
but still feel debilitating to the one 
inside that head. 
Stay educated. 
Be understanding. 
Love the hell out of each other. 
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤍🤎💗

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Blake Garner

2020-09-15 10:47 am
No secrets
You keep me speechless,
I can not lie
I hate that I love you,
If you knew the damage
Would you love me correctly,
The hell you put me through
I no longer want to be on the ride,
You knew I from the start
That I fall hard and fast,
I try to feel ok
While you play with my emotions, 
There's no need to explain
If you think what your doing is ok,
I can try to get up and feel ok again
But I'm just domino in your game,
Does this make you feel better
Being on top in this one sided love,
I wake up in terror
To ask myself what am I doing here,
Why do I let myself endure
The torture of your love,
I can not lie
I love you,
No more holding inside
This dirty little secret I keep,
I'm tired of the mistreatment 
I'm tired of the avoidance, 
You say I hurt you
From a drunken fight,
Its time to bring to light
Your drunken words,
When we met you knew
I was unwell,
One night amongst your drunken lips
You spoke to me a terrible fate,
It haunts me in my thoughts
The DJ to my demons party,
You spoke love sober
Yet you spoke death drunk,
Your tinder lips slipped
I wish you would've died,
You hated me for what I did
You hated the fact I was broken,
I set it aside for the sheer fact
That I love you truly,
However you still to this day
Blame my mental instability, 
I try so hard every day
I fight for my next breath.

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Blake Garner

2020-09-12 06:42 pm
You would not believe your eyes
If you seen all the dark thoughts,
I keep at tide inside my head
If only that was true,
I can no longer control
these racing thought,
I'm a danger to myself
I've succumb to pain,
I've felt numb for too long
I inflict pain to just feel something, 
Thoughts constantly racing
Never a chance to think straight,
I've found a healthy affliction 
In the pain I inflict upon myself,
I can feel it now
Like cardiac arrest,
The slip of the chair
The tension around my neck,
Ill try my best,
The pull of the blade
Against my wrist,
I've been trying my best
How much do I invest,
Before its all over
No longer numb,
My Demons
They catch me when I slip,
Motor control loss
Mindless acts,
Just a permanent solution 
To a temporary feeling,
Exactly how long is temporary
All i want is for this living nightmare to be over,
These demons consuming me alive
Fighting is no longer a solution,
Don't stop me now
I know now noone would shed a tear,
Noone would shutter a sound
To stop me,
Forget yesterday
I dont wanna see tomorrow,
Remember when you told me
That I was better off dead,
I knew it from the start
I was never any good to anyone,
You can believe it
When im not here tomorrow,
Today I find something great
Today I find a Healthy Affliction. 

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crybaby

2020-08-20 11:23 am
i met you on a friday night
it was all good and fun
i was stressed and fatigue
i knew im out of your league
but well i tried

i tried and i tried and i tried
having your attention
i lied and i lied and i lied
to earn your affection

when the party was over
you said let’s grab a toaster
and then you took me over
we got in to your rover

then days and weeks came and went
but granny had a heart attack
you said depression sucked 
and you only felt love 
when you were drunk

i tried and i tried and i tried
stopping you, making you stay
i lied and i lied and i lied
to look like im okay

you are an alcoholic 
no heart but many lovers
our love was narcotic
daydreaming like it’s summer

i wish we could go back
i wish you were sober
i think that it’s so bad
that i am so so sad
while here you are over
this shit

i wish i could go back
i wish i could know that
if you loved me in that moment
when your eyes weren’t open
and the time got frozen
real quick 

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Gord

2018-10-03 12:14 pm
Tribe, should I fight?
Sunder wood, my life took,
Can I have another?
While wife cooks, 
Thunder looms.
White, she relies on tools,
Not the lies in schoolbooks,
Taught too to sophist fools.

Identity, laughter, a memory looks,
I would be a king if I were a rook,
Or switch places, if I were a crook,
Knew rules well, or sting of the hook.

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Gord

2018-09-19 06:50 am
As poet, aspire, assume desire,
I wrote for poets, declining,
Prose for poetry, I grew designer.
More spoke, iron, strewn aside,
Cycle heroic for biking true,
Though as porch, her mire I knew.

To sit in snow, still forever, cold,
Gladly to mix into a sill window home.
Lover's letter, one pens from notes,
To end on soles, or in bags of herion,
And never spoken, lovely, but phoned in,
In drunken speech, early in the morning.
As men, we aspire, and assume desires,
I wrote for Odin, always refining,
Notes for nobody, I grew aside,
Man of the world, I knew her ire.

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Mata

2018-07-15 11:52 am
Go ahead laugh,smirk do or say what you are going to do..i wont and cant stop you..its ok and except that im the fool..you have proved yourself out as the klown..as you thought you were cool,walking around claiming to be down..at the time you knew you bad me fooled,i already had the clue;you never or knew how to be true..but its all good cuz who am i to judge?iam able to at least except tbat i chose to be the fool..and to sit back in the crowd n enjoy the show;rather than wanting to be the ringleader and run the show..while you were in the streets claiming to be down and believing to be on the grind;im the"REAL WORLD" of reality you were doin what a ring leader does...marching around advertizing"the circus is in town"..but its ok in your own unrealistic world to believe in what you see and who you claim to be..so im willing to settle with compromise instead of regret..at least have a lil respect to turn our backs to each other and walk away and live in our own realistic world..
MATILDA MADRID

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