Vast: mountains sway, At our age, the brain, Nowadays. Forgetful of things, Mountains sway, Like concepts of outer space. Distance, refrain, At our age, the brain, Under, stands the pain, It never comprehends, Where and what is, It just toils away.
Advancement forever, Like standing to stomping, Spying to friendship. Beyond process: Beyond measure. Behind me are the days of leisure, Hot temper, involvement of parent, But you, I see are still there. Covet beyond edges, White lattice fences. Void, in contentment, It can destroy forever. You're right about nothing, So spare me a lecture, Our neighbours are different, Mine don't talk in direction, And they ask if I'm still here.
Halcyon days, Hell, cyan, amazement. I saw different to said, Red wasn't waiting. Salad, dressing for cravings. Expecting men with perspective of age. Dating, is quite like smelling the rain, Best stand aside, it's different to face. Wearing a veil, wearing a cape, Wearing a suit, it's all the same, Objects, representing the snake.
Hell is where bones conjoin. Fell into boys, resin oil, foil... Paranoid terror, disappointment. What was worse, Your disease, or my point? Multiple choice questions on the medical forms, Your network connections on cellular phones. Joint ventures, a voice credits feminine for, But between the temples the evidence shows. Goodbye are the days, Yellow presence, White, like breast or loin, and yet, still like poinsettia, Red on the inside. Compare your sickness to mine, Hell is where bones conjoin, There to which the feathers fall, Quality of life destroyed, Vaporizer oil, foil, credit card, Paranoid terror, disappointment. The spider bites with sting of poison, Whether on the page or from an arm.
Black smoke, campfire grows. Active social life, animal bones, Colder over time, as foretold, Feeling about ears, nose, Nothing, so what more? Vampires, see it all, To know red best, All days spent about the home, Mind a tiresome tempest. I provide solace, Meaning over time changes. Strangers though can too. I provide doctrine, Meaning over time changes, Strangers though will too. Vampires, to coffins, Kisses on the neck, I would draw upon it. Violet, Auburn, Inner strength, Flying monster.
Chestnut, voices, Gone are the old days, Better choices, Monochrome planes. Upon canvas the mind paints, Scarlet the shade, Far from water and rain. Gone are the old days, Fire took the farm. Childhood sweethearts, I could be wrong, But fire looks good, to us all, When it's on a smaller scale, But on canvas or stage, Fire, has no proper place. Soon you'll see, things gone away, I could be wrong, fire looks good, When upon a crown and on a face. Maybe one day you'll see these things, Not the sullen, lonely greys.
Invention of wheel, Longness of face, Internal promise of cake. I feel I cannot run away. Knowledge of space, Darkness of faith, Invention of metal, Weapons and trades. External promise of capes. Knowledge of place, Doctrine of faith, Darkness of brain. Call it a day! Harvest the slave's harvest, Get paid! Invention of cadmium. Longness of days, Internal rotten and lamed.
Yellow, above, I wish you were more blue, Less discussed, Like fish of the third month, It takes two to be true, Hairpin curves take but one. Yellow, above, Consider this goddess worship, But, please don't discuss it. Like the days say to the month, It might take thirty to be you, But things we cherish, we love. You would take a setting sun, Color it blue, that says enough. Diamond, yellow zircon, Gifts in the twelfth month, Yellow above.
Was it like this all along? A bird wonders... Like gawkers, ponders what they saw... 'Would you describe me, inside of a bar?' 'Must again, you make things be so hard?' 'Wasp, like I bumble about the pollen, Following a humble belief seems wanton, When you believe in things so violent and wrong.' Bird, quickly describes in simple songs, Big cities, things it saw in the puddle, Colors of war, bees that talk. Freedom, it sings, is also simple, One really needs not drift apart. The big screen, another big scene, It was mostly a facade... Balk, talk is talk, feeling in the dark, But most of what a bird said, lived on, Proper relief is upon the soul after all... So they write less of evil on the walls, In the sky, on maps or village carts. Against nothing, see the days beyond... I suppose those concepts are behind us. Was it like this all along? A bird wonders... Is the city like a swallow, or like to swallow, and will he be the next one gone? Cause for alarm, make calls upon, Anything, but you lost the one. You love... Like a dog watching another sun set, More talk, another sun will rise again, Life for this bird is but more dogs. So like a coward, survives the storm, Shivering as they make their calls. Inevitably, to face the power lines alone.
If I could, I would take my grey for your gray, My grave for your grave, but in the end I will fail. Take my blade and slay your beasts, hero. Even if all you see are beasts and famous people, Not beings from which you take a piece. In fear we never speak, like ancient egypt, People change, things remain the same for me. You aspire for some greater freedom, Perhaps, from up there you can label people, Teach them who should be sold as slaves. Maybe you can take those taken pieces, Build back the things you took from me. Gain more favour and speak loquacious, But gone are the days where you heard me speak, Gone are the days of our walks on the beach, Because even long ago I was but memories. Things have changed, besides the people, Weight and age mostly, But when I see your face, You want an escape, I can see it. A smile that lies on its face, But your heart plain as day. Rather than three hours too soon, One minute late
Paper, mind racing; April, outside rain; Days, time, pain. Trial, minor inheritance, Inside raging, vain, Water droplet pacing. Lies, decadence, Left in the sunset. Am I adept? Think, look back. Flies in everything, Trying anything, I, tried everything. Trial, cherry picking, Many years, Their meaning? A small committee, Press, briefings: Ideas discrete, Their leanings. Where is the time for healing?
Oh, to forget, Castle, all, buttered pears. But what of man? Was he even there? Even one percent, I wish I could share. All art forms a certain length, All on loan, and suddenly end, A dozen eggs, A dozen days, No son, No in love again, Arms too short to hug oneself. I feel as if I double dealt, You tell me what face I have, Where I belong, That you've already won; Wet seasons among, many drugs, I regret: I've already punched. Call me a spade, But I do what I want, And I won.
If one could fly away, Where could you go, Besides the sky to stay? If one could bike, Cycle into the skyline, Left foot fine, Right foot aligned, Thoughts fill my mind, The blind can read it. When you were fine, and I took the time, When you were mine, I looked life away. When you're five, You say goodnight, and you hope the same, for your final days. When you lie awake, Were the choices you made right: My private plane, My rightful place? My silent rage. She says you're mine, To another guy, Would I mind? I mean, I made no complaint.
He writes on reeds, Rides on steeds, Likely feeling. He sees the sea, Steels a seal, Greets, then eats. He wastes away, Hastily his days, Vast mountains sway.
Warning: this is looooooong and if you’re a sensitive individual the first parts may bother you. But hopefully the last part will inspire you. Speak your truths friends. The ones who matter will love you all the harder. #worldmentalhealthday Hidden Stories They smiled, jokingly told her she looked tired, “Must’ve partied hard last night.” Smile quietly returned, “just didn’t sleep too well I guess.” She didn’t tell them how hard it was to get out of bed this morning, How sleep never came last night, How it felt like the darkness would just swallow her whole, How she felt hollow and empty and there weren’t any tears left, just an ache deep within that wouldn’t subside. And maybe if she just squeezed her eyes shut and stayed in that bed in the blacked out void, She wouldn’t have to face another day of faked smiles and “I’m ok” lies. “Just tired today I guess.” “It’s warm today man!” “What’s with the long sleeves all the time?” “Got some crazy tattoos under there?” He smiled, laughed along with them, Self-consciously ran his hands over his wrists. Over the bandages binding his secrets. They didn’t know how close he got last night, how he almost let go, How so much blood, HIS blood swirled down the drain, mixing with his tears. He was sure no one would miss him, but he wondered if he would miss this world, And the good days out in the sun, Few and far between as they were. What would they say if he were gone tomorrow? “You should’ve come out with us last night. You would’ve had so much fun...” She nodded and made those “next time” promises, though she knew they were lies. She’d stay home again, Wrapped in the icy grips of loneliness, Which felt somehow better than her burning cheeks when the right words just wouldn’t come, or the wrong ones spilled out, and she felt their eyes on her, Panic rising, thoughts frozen Wishing she’d just stayed home, Away from the judgement, And all the wrong moves she always made “Haven’t seen you around in a while! Doing ok?” His mouth smiled, head nodded, lips formed words he’d said so often, automatic. Because, really, he thought, How could I describe that moment last night, body curled up with forehead cold against the kitchen floor, Ears covered to block out the voices, Silent screams wracking his body as the panic overwhelmed him, No breath to speak, And who could he call anyway, How would he explain these moments of pure fear that slipped in unnoticed and become everything, took everything, until he was a shivering shell of himself. Sometimes he wondered, if they could see through him, would they think him weak? Would they walk away...? These people are all make-believe, but the experiences are not, taken from articles and discussions and sometimes even revelations from real-life friends. These are not my stories, but they are someone’s truths, Not their weakness, Not their short-lived sadness that they can just “get over” if you try hard enough to make them happy. (My gosh do I need to remind myself of that part sometimes...) But that doesn’t mean you stop trying. Love them y’all. Love them so damn much that you’ll sometimes break through the cracks in their self-inflicted armor. Listen to them, Give them the chance to be open and honest, And if what they say makes you flinch, imagine what it must feel like for them. Do something kind that makes them smile and get ready to do it again tomorrow. Smile and laugh with them. Cry with them. Be genuine with your thoughts and feelings. Give them space, but check on them. Pull them out of the dark for just a moment, say, “I’m here for you when you need me. And I always will be.” Mental health issues are often invisible, but still feel debilitating to the one inside that head. Stay educated. Be understanding. Love the hell out of each other. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤍🤎💗
I miss that girl who wore the moon on a chain, The one who found happiness in solitude and rain, Who wasn’t smothered by the endless need-to-dos, But instead made simple moments her muse. I miss the girl with the honest, unforced smile, The one who could always stay for awhile, Who took endless photos of sunsets and trees, And spent time, just being, under canopies of leaves. I miss the girl always seeking out the new, The one whose blue days were ephemeral and few, Who spent her Sundays, childlike, taking trips to playgrounds, Instead of as an adult, pushing expensive mops around. I miss the girl who wore pink bandanas and braids, Whose undercurrent in life wasn’t always “afraid”, Who wasted away hours in make-believe lands, And felt no guilt with book or controller in hand. And I miss car rides with no destination, Enjoying the lilting song of a clock for pure relaxation, Not feeling enslaved by my own procrastinations, Making last minute plans, happy deviations, I miss yesterdays that happened years ago And I miss the me that I used to know
”The End” The night is young, Barely swollen with stars When the illusion shatters As though everyone I had ever known was gone The world as I had come to know it, Ended. Apocalyptic, And without near enough warning. Those paper souls lost, Their memories fast fading, The stories they told, Words lost in the wind Some names forgotten, Others stamped permanently onto my brain, autographs on my heart. I reminisced for a moment On the places we’d been, Conversations had, Friendships shared, Hardships weathered. Bright sunny days spent outside Or solitary nights spent avoiding sleep, Blanketed by the silent words between us, Alone but for each other’s company. Now I just feel alone, utterly, This finality staring me in the face Nothing left to do but face this music Slipping away at too rapid a pace These final notes, One last embrace. I tell myself I must accept this end, But allow myself one backward look Steel my heart, Heave a sigh, And with great trepidation... close this book. ❤️📚💔